Fatherless Child

It’s as if I came apart

like a cheap plastic toy.

You reached into my chest, ripped out my heart

and your departure robbed me of all joy.

Left me walking around with rivers and wails running down my sleeve;

some places so wet, that they’ve never dried.

Fury is an acquired taste for those who grieve;

it is a very small gift for all the tears I cried.

You used to manipulate me like a puppet help by wire.

For so long I have stood screaming on this steep slope

Imprisoned here by an absent liar,

and virtually robbed of hope.

Constantly pondering whether I’ll always have this hole

gaping in the center of my soul.

 

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Networking, even when you don’t want to

It has been a particularly trying week for this writer. I suffered a devastating loss but am still trying to maintain my commitment to writing and stay on track with my thesis plans.  It has been hard which is why I’m going to break one of my rules and attend a writing group tomorrow. I’m not anti-writing group, I have had some good experiences in community and school based writing groups. However, as a rule, I’m not a fan of writing groups simply because it takes three meetings or more to get a read on the other writers and sometimes that’s just too much time. One of my writing resolutions is to spend more time networking so I’ve stuffed a handful of business cards in my bag, along with copies of my latest stories.     Although I’m a people person I don’t always like people; hence, my preference for a solitary profession.

On a side note, I am trying not to be distracted by several other stories that are clamoring for attention right now. But they are begging for my attention so I am taking notes on them and continuing to work on my thesis; which is a collection of four novellas. So far, I’ve started all four stories and have a strong sense of where they’re going hopefully I will benefit from attending (not joining) this session.

 

One Twenty

This is the worst heartbreak

As I sit here listening to sad r&b songs

Crying so hard that tears run over

My calves

This is like my very first heartbreak

Hurts more than losing my soulmate

So even when I put it in the very far corner

Of my mind the hurt escapes

And pours out of my pores

 

Flu Musings

So far this year has been hell on my resolutions; both writing and regular. There are so many things to do and never enough time to get it all done. Even though I have a few weeks of free time, I am in a writing black hole. While I could be writing, I feel blocked creatively; hence, no work on my writing resolutions. Another distraction is this wonderful lingering case of a cold/sinus infection/allergies/the flu which is a wonderful way to avoid work. So I have to keep reminding myself that I am committed to finishing grad school this year and getting my MFA so that I can pursue another degree but I am also trying to devote some much needed time to completing several stories that are clamoring for attention.

I am also trying to work on my family genealogy, which is a project that I started in 1997. I’ve discovered that in this family there are quite a few interesting stories I’d like to explore. I definitely want to teach a few workshops, and write some poems for children (it seems challenging). So while I’ve been slacking so far, I am dedicated to doing better. After all, I have the remainder of the year to get on track, to publish new material and finish my degree.