I admire the women that can remain friends with their exes, who continue to wish them well and gloss over the past but I am so not one of them. I do acknowledge that I’m an excellent friend to men. Even to men that I’ve been romantically involved with I’m a great package; I’m a good cook, I LOVE sports, I’m attractive, confident, intelligent, and a good friend. For all that I joke that the men I date consider me to be Leslie Wright, from the film Just Wright (if you haven’t seen it check it out) most men don’t automatically place me in the friend category. Usually it’s quite the opposite. However I have just been contacted by an ex, one who never had my heart just my body, and two Facebook messages later I realized that I am not friends with any of my exes. I remember being determined not to like him but he crept under my defenses and I eventually grew to like him but when it was over I didn’t regret it. So now I wonder if that’s because we weren’t friends in the first place.
Don’t get me wrong when I’m in a relationship I am very devoted, occasionally very loving and all about compromising for our mutual happiness. But I know now that I have not always been friends with the men I’ve been involved with; and I can’t help but question whether that’s a reflection of them or me.