Motherhood-An Excerpt

motherhood

This week I am sharing an excerpt from one of my pieces of fiction. It is a piece that I’ve been working on for a few years. It was created when I was pursuing my MFA; hopefully I will be able to devote more time to it this year. At the center of the story lies Noelle Griffin, a reluctant mother, whose lack of interest in parenting (and her children) has pushed her husband beyond the breaking point. I plan to share the complete first chapter with you via excerpt if I don’t get distracted by poetry.

I remember when we used to lie in bed together all day, making love all weekend, ordering in and hardly ever getting dressed. He would look at me like I was his queen, bring me breakfast in bed wouldn’t answer his cell phone or the door. Now everything’s changed; we’ve both changed I guess, but fundamentally I think he looks at me differently and wonders how he married such a cold creature. Yes, I truly believe that he thinks of me as an alien being.

Let me start at the beginning, eight years ago my husband and I were happily married newlyweds with our futures laid out in front of us. I know that it seems cliché but we were so in love and I have looked back over those years trying to remember how and when we lost the feelings. It all comes back to one thing, the kids. My husband Ryan is a great father; I mean he is truly wonderful, according to all of our friends. He is the one who gets up with the kids, gets them dressed, does their hair, feeds them breakfast, takes them to school and he hired their nanny, Dahlia.

Ryan and I are the couple that everyone views as perfect; high powered high profile careers, two kids, two vehicles, beautiful homes but everything is not as it seems. I am functionally incapable of mothering his children, I mean our children. I say things like that all of the time and even though I carried both of them, gave birth and provided them with half of their DNA I still feel as if they are his children. Ryan, a five year old girl and Brock an eighteen month old boy are his reason for living now and I cannot compete with them. I have never had a bond with them and although I agreed to bear both of them, I do resent what they have cost me.

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