Sometimes, I speak to myself in the voice of one of my best friends. I no longer physically have her so I have to evoke her in my mind. She’s my straight shooter, my face slapper in moments of hysteria, drama or down right ridiculousness. When I lost my mother, I made the brilliant mistake of telling her that my mom told me “do your work” while we were in her hospital room. My mother meant for me to complete the assignments for a class that I’d been so excited about when I was accepted into my program. That class was Medieval Literature. So later when I wanted to drop the class and sink into the abyss of grief, my friend wouldn’t let me. She kept reminding of my mother’s words and whenever I faltered she was fond of telling me, “Do your work.”
I am now teaching a full course between classes at a community college and a university. I am overwhelmed and crazed; no poetry has been written and I just (finally) finished my Master’s thesis last night. Last week, I had pink eye in both eyes and had to cancel classes on the second day of the semester. Earlier, today I realized that I was becoming a little anxious about all of the changes in my world and I had to tell myself, “Get it together, sucka!” and I realized that was all I needed. My class planning is now going a little smoother and I am optimistic about the rest of the week. All I needed was a little tough love!
Hope you’re all having a wonderful week!