The Exchange 

This is a poem that I’ve been tinkering with for a bit. I initially wanted to post it tomorrow but decided to put it up today. 


I am not really here. Instead 

I am watching my chest rise and fall 

Exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide 

Converting tears to smiles 

As if I wasn’t still grieving

Carrying the weight of the most painful losses

Pretending that my heart doesn’t still

Twist and turn these times of the year 

Like I can still live with the blood gushing through my fingers 

While I try to carry on as if 

Sadness isn’t seeping through my pores

Dropping from me like dew

Covering everything around me.

As if

These losses haven’t compounded

Bruising and battering 

My being in unimaginable ways. 

As if the losses haven’t altered me forever. 


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