So Sorry

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“The business of the poet and the novelist is to show the sorriness underlying the grandest things and the grandeur underlying the sorriest things.” -Thomas Hardy, novelist and poet

Although I hate uttering these words
I am sorry
Sorry
That these words are like my next breath
I am sorry
That you don’t understand how heady this power is
I am sorry
Sorry
That you can’t see the beauty in my mind drifting moments
I am so full of sorry’s about these 3am poems that need to be written
Sorry that I embarrass you with dialogue from random characters
Sorry, sorry, sorry that I am busy building worlds while you are droning on
I would say that I’ll stop
But I’d just be lying
And I am too occupied with writing these words
To bother…

Librarian Love- The Library Adventures

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I’ve been a serious reader for a while longer than I’ve been a committed writer. But I’ve always known that the two were closely tied together. My affinity for libraries has been helped by the interest and support of librarians so this post is for them.

First, this love is not new. My paternal aunt was a school librarian and she helped feed my hungry obsession for books and reading from a young age. My high school librarian was a solace when I needed it. She offered me access to book, the comfort of the library and was an amazing sounding board and support system when my adolescent brain was frenzied not focused.

I’m not biased in thinking that my librarians are the best. Okay, maybe I am but they remind me every time that I enter the library why I feel this way.

Yesterday’s visit to my library simply cemented that love. No, it reminded me of the strength of my love for libraries and librarians. I went to renew some of the huge stack that I  shared in a previous post only to discover that one of my favorite librarians had already renewed them. Also, I  complained to another one of the librarians about a paper that is due in less than two weeks and she offered to proofread it for me! Where else in the world would that happen? Nowhere!

I would say hug your librarian but maybe you should just thank them instead.

The Showdown

I’m not sure if I shared this with all of you before but I had this idea for a series where all of the main characters are friends from college. They are known as the alphabet crew because their names are all in sequence; I originally called them the LMNOP Crew(which I thought was clever). At any rate, I have toyed around with a few of their stories and one of them is the story that I will be tackling this November for NaNoWriMo so I thought that I’s share this snippet of one of their stories. Welcome to the messy world of Quinn Rogers Nelson. I apologize for the formatting but I wrote this in an app so it may be a little off. Hope you all enjoy!

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This showdown had been a long time in coming and now she was beginning to rethink her decision but there’d been too many days when he promsed to call or text and ignored her completely. The fact that it seemed as if he was trying to erase her from his life was the only reason that she’d packed up his things and shown up. Quinn figured that the least he could do was say it to her face.

So here she stood on the steps of Simeon’s house holding his gym bag which contained his wallet, jewelry, important papers, keys and the pictures that he’d left at her house. She placed the bag on the step by his feet and continued to stare at him speechless.
He exhaled loudly as if she was truly bothering him with her questions. Sim ran a large hand down his face stopping to stroke his full beard before he spoke.
“I told you that I needed a bit of time to get this straight” he reminded her as if she hadn’t spent the past week and a half counting the days.
“You did but it’s been almost two weeks and you can’t find time to come home and tell me how it’s going?” she asked. “I don’t think that is being unreasonable Sim.”
“Quinn” he said her name pleadingly as if she’d been torturing him instead of the other way around.
“Simeon, I asked you not to do this. You knew everything about my past relationship and I told you not to pretend to be serious about me..” she said.

“You think I did this shit on purpose Quinn?” he asked shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I know that you didn’t plan this but are you telling me that you can’t tell your parents the truth and come home? You’ve been holed up here for a month. When you left you said you’d be home by the weekend. So what aren’t you telling me?” she asked him.

They stood there staring at each other in silence for minutes. He looked away first frowning at some faraway thought.

“Nothing” he said. “I just need more time”

“So you’re saying that you’re not intentionally removing me from your life because your mother thinks that I’m not good enough for you” she asked.
“I can’t control my mother’s behavior Quinn” he told her.

“I realize that and I’m not asking you to. I want you to be responsible for your behavior. I’m not…”

“Quinn, it’s difficult to deal with everything and you popping up here isn’t helping”

“Excuse me” she said staring at him. Surely he wasn’t trying to say that she was causing him problems when he’d allowed his mother to come into their home and disrespect her as if she were dirt.

“Why did you ask me to marry you? Why did you go through with all of this then?” she asked.

“We moved too fast and I just…”

“Regret marrying me?” she asked, arms folded across her chest.The silence was palpable but what held Quinn frozen to the steps was the image behind him. As she watched,zip his mother scurried towards the ivy bordered entrance and in her arms she carried a bronze, curly haired little girl. A child whose eyes were the same hazel ones that stared down from Simeon’s face.

What happens when you go to the library hungry?

It’s been a long time since I’ve added one of these posts but here goes…

What happens when you go to the library hungry? This…

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By hungry, I mean severely craving books. When I visited my local library last week
it had been a while since I went solely for pleasure of searching the stacks in the hopes of finding something exciting and compelling enough to keep me curled up in a story. I needed the relief that only reading can provide for someone who loves it.
I feel as if I have been wrapped up in work for this course and trying to get my own writing done in addition to course planning for the fall and working on my family genealogy. On Tuesday, I had a pretty decent research day looking for information about my ancestors and I’ve been able to start revising a paper but in the moment that I entered the library and smelled that fresh library smell I fell into full book nerd mode!

It’s so bad that I went to another branch of the library on a mad hunt yesterday, after researching said ancestry, looking for more books! I only picked up one, the latest Sandra Brown release, but I still wish that I would have found a few more books to fill my days.
I feel like I should find a support group just so that I can say, “My name is B and I am addicted to books!”

Misty Blue

misty blue

Muse In motion
A flurry of pink tulle en pointe
Giving the awed crowd
Glimpses of greatness
She leads
Long, graceful sinewy plies set
Against varying backdrops
Purposeful strides where many said
It could never exist
Used faulty logic and science to
Beat back black ballerinas

Now we see
Grand jetes of color
On stages there are
Armies of arms sculpted by
Hard work, dedication and the sweat
Of Katherine Dunham, Alvin Ailey and Judith Jamison
Just backstage there are millions of eyes watching
With reverence
And gleaming with pride